Bridal Therapy Tips

I wanted to give you all a few tips today to survive your wedding.

You can take the same parent concept and apply it to your groom’s parents. Inviting your soon to be in-laws in on the action, is a great relationship builder. 

Occasionally in-laws and parents show no interest in the planning. Ask them if they would like to know the skinny or be involved in a certain aspect. Pick your aspect carefully; make a suggestion like the rehearsal dinner. Do not leave them an open-ended invite to the planning process.

Small alterations by a few vendors can play a big part in the emotions of key guests and make your wedding be a little less stressful.

Take a few spa days before the wedding and during the planning process especially when things begin to feel overwhelming.

Delegation is Key to Bridal Sanity

While I am the last to admit it, no person is perfect. I know it is a huge blow to some of us, me included. That being said anyone involved in the planning process is going to have to let go of some control. No one can be everywhere all the time. For some people it is easy, for others…it is a nightmare. Make some lists before you even pick up the phone. Sit down with some close friends and family for help with this one. Make lists of what your planning strengths and weaknesses. Ask your friends what they think about your lists and be prepared to cross some things off and put them on the other list. Don’t concentrate on which one is longer. This process is going to help you decide what you need to delegate for your own bridal sanity. 

During the planning process a bride is bound to have friends and family who want to get involved. Some of them will feel entitled especially if they are financially bound to the event. Today there are no rules to a wedding, especially for young couples who are getting help from both sets of parents. I have noticed so many different funding situations that have emotional impact over the years. I have brides that pay for their entire wedding themselves, others who have some parental help from both sides, some have extended family financial funding and more along the more traditional line of the brides family funding the wedding. With financial funding come opinions and lots of suggestions. Suggestions can be a good thing, remember most of these people have been through this before and with experience comes wisdom. Most likely their style is not your style and addressing that in a polite response so not to offend anyone is tough-especially if it is your mother.

Popular Vendors & Booking Times

Vendors book out at different rates. Popular vendors book out a year in advance or more. Don’t let that discourage you though. Venues have cancelations all the time and some vendors will not book a year out. For example, I don’t photograph just weddings, my company also photographs books and works for corporations across the county and globe. My policy is only to book a certain amount of weddings a year or more out so that I can keep my schedule flexible. Then I book the rest six months out. 

When thinking about a timeline, you need to take into consideration where you are having your wedding. For example, if you are having your wedding the last weekend in March or the end of May, there are some major events that take up a lot of hotel space and they are booked a year out. Christmas in New York would probably pretty full as well.  Even booking at a group rate you are still going to pay the premium for good hotel rooms close to things and events. You have to book these a year out or as soon as possible. Thus this timeline is more of a suggestion of an order grouped.

Over Enthusiastic Parent Planner

How do you tell an over enthusiastic parent planner that they are too opinionated? There is never a great way to do this. Someone’s feelings are going to get hurt but this is where all that relationship building is going to pay off. Go back to the original general style, theme or outline and point out how it deviates from the plan. Stress and focus on an idea that they suggested that you do like. Be honest and sincere about how you feel. Chances are its no big deal. If it is a big deal pick your battles wisely. Get to the root of the issue and ask your self if you could compromise. If the issue is that your parent would like the option of fish at your steak dinner chances are you could give in-after all it is a healthy option. If it is the whole wedding color scheme you really need to remind your parent of the general outline and that purple and pink are your favorite colors and you are not going to budge. Always remember in the end they want you to be happy and if pink with purple Pokka-dots is your hearts desire eventually they will find a way to get over this small disappointment.
You can use this opportunity to get to know your in-laws and it can be positive. Get used to it; you will have some sort of relationship with your in-laws for years to come. Building an optimistic relationship will pave the way for multiple life changing situations-like babies. Usually in-laws want to offer something; traditionally they took care of the rehearsal dinner. Ask their opinion, let them in on the master plan, c.c. them on major planning emails and on holidays bring them wedding updates and photos.

Budget Tips that won't drive you crazy

The budget is a stressful issue with much controversy. It requires a lot of give and take on the sides of everyone involved. The last thing that anyone should want to do is fight over the money so be prepared to compromise and adjust your expectations.

Tips for you Budget
By having your budget on a spread sheet you have the ability to email it your blackberry for instant changes or important consults with the groom.
everyone involved in the budget can address it at the same time from different time zones.
You can see how tweaking it in different areas affects your bottom line instantly.
You are completely organized and this will actually save you money or help you find extra money for add ons that you really want.

-some brides run away from their budget especially if they are not dishing out the cash. Always know what you are spending, and be aware. The last thing that you want to do two weeks before the wedding is realize that you can not pay for what you expected and some venders may not be able to let you re-negotiate your deal.