Brides Dealing with a Loss

Dealing with a loss before the wedding can be more than tough and depressing; it can be a wedding crasher. A loss can range from the loss of a home to the loss of a family member. It’s one of the toughest things that a couple can go through. Besides holding on and moving forward what is a bride to do?

For those of us who have never experienced, it we have no right to talk. A little over a month before her wedding a bride’s mother called me with news in the most pleasant voice. The mother always has this tone and it always makes me feel better when I answer the phone. This is the voice of a true southern woman with her best face forward always. We commend these women. We appreciated them. We secretly wish that we could have the same composure. She called to tell me that we had to postpone her bridal portrait because her apartment-across the country-was caught in a deadly fire the night before and she had barely gotten out with her life. Of course the first thing out of my mouth is “Oh my God, is she alright”. Her mother said yes, but she was going to postpone her trip until the following day and could we move the portrait. Noone expects this bride to be ready for a portrait. In fact I have heard stories of brides canceling the wedding in such losses and eloping. Some feel the need to postpone the wedding indefinitely. No one can tell a bride what to do in that situation, but I can tell you this. Don’t feel guilty about continuing the wedding. I’m not telling you that you should ignore it and move on but in the case of a fire try not to let it get the best of you. This would only strengthen your relationship as long as you both are okay. Many people have experienced this in the wake of natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina. In the case of a Hurricane or other natural disaster remember nothing should stop you from getting married—delay is one thing but don’t let time go by to long. Even if it isn’t the wedding of your dreams it isn’t about a fancy party, it is about being with those that you love when you need them.

Don’t ever feel guilty about things outside your control. If you do, find some level head to kick you out of your funk. After all that is what friends are for. Don’t feel sorry for canceling the wedding if you feel that that is what you need to do. Remember your wedding is about you and your groom the key words in here are you. It is your wedding and while that does not give you the right to be Bridezilla it does give you the right to look out for your mental health, irregardless of whatever monetary loss your incur, or whomever disagrees with you.