Type A Groom

The great things about weddings now is that it they aren’t for just the bride, the groom has a place to. More and more grooms are getting involved with their wedding plans. This can be a huge plus; pay attention to can be here.

There are two levels of the groom. The basic level are those who are eager to go to appointments, help pick colors and basic design ideas. Whether or not their input is helpful or even tasteful is irrelevant. They are helping and it is much appreciated (usually). It’s also more time that you can spend together while you are in the extra lovely stage. These are the guys that will help change diapers and even get up in the middle of the night for baby feedings.

Then there is the extreme level. These are the guys who have an intimate relationship with every vendor and have a heavy hand into the most minuet details. They have designed out the table layout before the final guest count. They take decisions into their own hands and must be in control at all points. They have a grip on the bar and the caterer. They are calling the shots with all the vendors. These are the guys who after your first child are discussing with their friends what breast your newborn is more fond of. I won't tell you exactly how I know this but lets just say I am no stranger to the hardware store. Also when these guys talk they are not discrete about anything. Got to love them though!

Of course the week before the wedding they plan something that will throw you off. They take over the programs and make all final decisions. Some even decide to put their own artistic touch on them. It is always something complicated like making a hand tied celtic knot to tie the programs together. While brides should appreciate the task to be completed by the groom she must remember that it comes with a price. Let’s not forget, they are still men.

Problems with this scenario are that grooms tend to pay either too much for the paper and neglects to look at the program layout then come up with clever cost saving ideas like deciding that guests can share the programs. After all he thinks that everyone is coming as a couple so people can share. He tends to forget that it takes time to accomplish such an aggressive task so nine days before the wedding may not be enough. What is a bride to do? You don’t want to disappoint them and tell them that this may not be the best time to take on the task. Instead you should try to convince him to stick with the original plan. If he says no and reasoning does not work you leave him up to his task. You have so many other things to worry about that this is one that you will have to let go. You don’t need the added stress. This after all is not going to be the first thing you had an argument over, it isn’t going to stop the wedding-maybe no one will miss them.

At the worst, bridal party will have to introduce themselves to your guests, guests will wonder when the ceremony will be over and the bar will open. Take this opportunity to further define your stance as the leader that you are. If you stand firm and choose not to help him the night before as he is tying those knots he will second guess making design decisions of his own for your bedroom. You can live without those surprises. If you help him you will have saved the day and never have to let him live it down. Either way it is a win win!

Brides Dealing with a Loss

Dealing with a loss before the wedding can be more than tough and depressing; it can be a wedding crasher. A loss can range from the loss of a home to the loss of a family member. It’s one of the toughest things that a couple can go through. Besides holding on and moving forward what is a bride to do?

For those of us who have never experienced, it we have no right to talk. A little over a month before her wedding a bride’s mother called me with news in the most pleasant voice. The mother always has this tone and it always makes me feel better when I answer the phone. This is the voice of a true southern woman with her best face forward always. We commend these women. We appreciated them. We secretly wish that we could have the same composure. She called to tell me that we had to postpone her bridal portrait because her apartment-across the country-was caught in a deadly fire the night before and she had barely gotten out with her life. Of course the first thing out of my mouth is “Oh my God, is she alright”. Her mother said yes, but she was going to postpone her trip until the following day and could we move the portrait. Noone expects this bride to be ready for a portrait. In fact I have heard stories of brides canceling the wedding in such losses and eloping. Some feel the need to postpone the wedding indefinitely. No one can tell a bride what to do in that situation, but I can tell you this. Don’t feel guilty about continuing the wedding. I’m not telling you that you should ignore it and move on but in the case of a fire try not to let it get the best of you. This would only strengthen your relationship as long as you both are okay. Many people have experienced this in the wake of natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina. In the case of a Hurricane or other natural disaster remember nothing should stop you from getting married—delay is one thing but don’t let time go by to long. Even if it isn’t the wedding of your dreams it isn’t about a fancy party, it is about being with those that you love when you need them.

Don’t ever feel guilty about things outside your control. If you do, find some level head to kick you out of your funk. After all that is what friends are for. Don’t feel sorry for canceling the wedding if you feel that that is what you need to do. Remember your wedding is about you and your groom the key words in here are you. It is your wedding and while that does not give you the right to be Bridezilla it does give you the right to look out for your mental health, irregardless of whatever monetary loss your incur, or whomever disagrees with you.

Groomsmen thoughts?

What do you think groomsmen talk about when they are watching their friends tie the not? Especially during a really long ceremony. I will give you a hint about what some groomsmen are thinking.

Some are thinking what are we going to do to trip the groom up when he is walking back down the isle. One set had written messages on a piece of paper and the groom had to get each and everyone like a secret handshake. These well wishing's were points of inspiration for the groom to read later. One groom was given marbles in an effort to trip him up.

Whatever they are thinking it is a tradition that some of them started at a wedding a longtime ago. Some have been passed down from generation to generation. As many of you know the boys rarely take interest in the wedding. Talking to his best man to start a tradition or getting your man to start one gives them a detail to look forward to or a pleasant surprise.

You will learn later that keeping boys entertained can be touch. By starting now and developing a habit you will be able to keep your husband entertained during other functions.

Event Insurance

Tropical storm Barry came to visit us in Charleston over last weekend. It ruined every out door wedding in the city. On the beaches power went out, the wind howled and it poured.
We had a beach wedding that day with a reception in a hotel. Now for those of you unfamiliar Charleston, SC we have some really nice beach hotel. Well this reception was not at one of those. This hotel was decorated in the uncool late 70's style.
Needless to say my bride was upset, she had no backup plan and was forced to make due. Her wedding was not the only one in the hotel that day, there was another one at the same time, with more people and a crew that was not as well adapt for any emergencies.
You may think that I am going to talk to you about back up plans...No.
I am going to talk to you about event insurance. Event Insurance you are now asking yourself what is it? You can purchase event insurance and in the event of bad weather, airplanes downed or some other major issue you can recoup most if not all of the money that you payed out for your event that didn't turn out like you had expected. I first heard about event insurance from a friend who was a promoter. We were doing a Rock the Beach event and she was praying for rain. Turns out it only had to rain a small percentage at the airport and she was going to recoup her money.
This bride was fortunate to have vendors that were able to make her day better, this comes from experience as well as a sense of caring from her vendors. Her wedding was intimate, many guests did not come due to the weather but everyone danced to music when all the power on the beach went out the music was still playing and they were still dancing. A few days after we took the couple to the beach and spent sometime photographing them on the beach-so they still got those beach pictures that they were thinking of.
Had the bride had event insurance she would have recouped the money that she spent. My suggestion is that if you are getting married in an area that is prone to bad weather that may ruin your wedding you should purchase event insurance. For the few hundred dollars that it will cost you are insuring that you recoup any losses that could occur.
Now I know that you are thinking...what about the other bride? She was having a catered wedding on the pier. Her caterer had to plate the food in a hotel room at the other side of the hotel from their make shift reception. The hotel would not allow them to use their kitchen because the caterer was not affiliated with the hotel.